Notes, Notings, and Common Refrains

(Sigh) I just realized the other day that B.A.D.D. is coming up…

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 22:13:01 GMT

And I'm not sure my heart is into doing it this year... For one thing, I'm still struggling with that Sword and Laser anthology story (The deadline is May 15; I'm working on it... hope to have a rough draft done by the end of tomorrow).

For another thing, I'd been planning, if I do write something for Blogging Against Disability Day, to put up a YouTube version... and I'm hating the new version of Windows MovieMaker -- they've taken out all my favorite title animations, and made the animations that remain inflexible, so you can't slow down the movement of the words to match the length of the clip. On the other hand, they've added new transitions and effects, and also a "pan" feature, so you can move over a single image... so maybe I could still make something vaguely interesting, and not absolutely fugly.

Anyway, if I do write something, it will either be:

1) a "rant" about the pernicious belief in the medical community that CP = mental retardation (which is hard because that so often comes across as "being intellectually disabled is being subhuman" which is a lie... but being misdiagnosed as ID is still horrible)

or

2) something about storytelling and that Disability Test I came up with, and why it's important.

And May 1 is coming up fast, and I have to decide even faster... Sigh.

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What can I write about celebrations and parties (Seriously -- suggestions wanted!)?

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 00:28:21 GMT

At least I've got the alliteration thing down, right?

Anyway, the 23rd is the day for this month's Disability Blog carnival; the submission deadline is the 20th. The theme is "Birthdays, anniversaries, and other days of commemoration."

The announcement of that theme is what inspired me to write If my grief over Mother's Death were a person.

And then, yesterday, the post where the blog entries to the carnival will be posted goes up, with this bit of writers' guidelines from the curator:

Quote:
"...let's give the lie to the fact that we in the disability community live lives of quiet sorrow and tragedy. Let's make it clear that we are a raucous group of people who can party with the best of them."
Unquote.

And suddenly, my memorial poem of grief seems a lot less appropriate (understatement of 2012? quite possibly).

The thing is, I still really want to contribute something. But the truth is, although I celebrate many things, inside my own head... I really have become socially isolated over recent years -- at least in "meat-space," as some people call it. Looking in from the outside, it really does look like my life is lonely and sad -- except for the Art Garden, I haven't actually been to a party with a group of people in almost ten years.

(And after this year, there will be no more Art Gardens). *cries*

But I still do "celebrate" -- just not in a way that you'll see defined in the dictionary. I mean, could naarmamo be considered a "celebration?" How about NaNoWriMo? [see footnote #1]

How about the pro-fun hoedowns? Those were pretty raucous parties, even if they only existed in our collective imaginations [See footnote #2]... And the muses know (even/especially the muses we "invented" for our stories) I've laughed out loud so much during the span of those dance parties, my stomach hurt and I felt dizzy at times -- I don't drink alcohol, but I sometimes wonder if I get just as drunk on laughter itself, as other folk get on booze.

Maybe it would be good for me to write to my strengths, and wax philosophical, like I did in this post from almost nine years ago (?): The True Meaning of the Season (for this wacky Pagan, anyway)

Anyway, I can't make up my mind about this, and I have less then ten days to decide (five would be better, so I could have five for the actual writing / making (if I decide to do art and/or a video along with a written piece)

So... Halp?
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Footnote #1: Speaking of, when I went to the site to grab the url, it reminded me that I haven't come up with a novel idea, yet... I'm actually thinking of recycling a couple of old Script Frenzy! ideas, but I can't decide between them... or if I want to do either or come up with something new... And actually, this is getting too long for a footnote, and should be its own post.

Footnote #2: Hey, fellow past Hoedowners! I'm thinking maybe of trying to gear up for at least one more pro-fun troll gathering for the 2013 Doctor Who Fiftieth... does that appeal to anyone else? (kind of hard to do a hoedown alone)...

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Conversation with my novel, from this morning:

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 21:07:35 GMT

[Begin Quote]

My Novel, Oh my Novel--

Why are you doing this to me?

You keep me up late, with your chatter in my head, and then wake me up far too early with this?!

No! I will not go back and change it. If you wanted the beggar's ghost to be the mentor, instead of the wizard, you should have spoken up when we started out. Now, sit down, and be quiet.

If you behave for the rest of this trip, maybe we'll go out for ice cream later.

[End Quote]

FOUR HOURS LATER:

Okay, Fine! Have it your way! I'll write the extra dream scenes, but I WILL NOT rewrite what's already written. No, it doesn't matter that it makes no sense. I'll just stick the dream sequences on at the end-- yes, even if they actually happen at the beginning.

And no ice cream for you...

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Seeking "HALP!" from my f'list and dw'ircle:

Sat, 19 Nov 2011 19:18:07 GMT

It took me 29,100 words to figure out where my Chapter One starts (metaphorically speaking), now I need to figure out Chapter Two.

( Long, rambling, exposition-- as much to clarify my own thinking as to spell things out for readers-- but it might help you know what sort of thing I'm looking for )

My $29K Question: Something is going wrong on the Otherworldly plane, and two of the "regular visitors" to the Otherworldly B&B seek help of my wizard and MC, to come to the Otherworld and help solve the mystery / fix what's breaking / find what's lost (Wizard and MC could 'travel there' via dreams or astral projection, or maybe just a form of self-hypnosis that allows them to see the world from a ghost's or bogle's vantage point).

But What? Why?

Oh, and gripe: You know what's annoying, for fantasy writers like me? Google's spell check does not recognize either the word "Otherworld" or "bogle," so every time I write them, I get red squiggly underlines.

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I'm still a blocked writer; polls clear the mind

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:53:12 GMT

View Poll: writing a novel-on-the-fly is like wondering a maze, and I've come upon another dead end

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The first part of My "Eloise" Story...

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 07:50:26 GMT

Finally! After nearly Eight Years of writer's block (is that some sort of record?)!

( Author's Notes (with further thoughts added since last time): )

( No title, yet; she's not yet named 'Eloise'-- length: approx. 5,000 words )

Now: bed.

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clings to the outside world

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 19:52:47 GMT

Yay! This is the first time since Wednesday night that I've had Internet and phone.

We had a big rainstorm Wednesday night, when we got about an inch of rain in about half an hour. All that moisture tripped the fail-safe on the outlet into which my Internet/Phone is connected.

Audrey reset it on Friday, but the Internet never came back, and I had to wait until she returned today so I could borrow her cell and call Verizon service. Luckily, they were able to fix the fault remotely, but it took a while...

In the meantime, four and a half days where I have no one to talk with but myself? Not a pretty mental space.

I need a burn phone.

In the meantime, in order to keep sane, I gave myself 2 24-hour writing challenges, and successfully met the first:

( 'Monster Teddy' as a short story, with a single conflict and resolution -- 2,297 words )

This second one, I did not meet [Points to the bad mental space, and not really being in a good condition to think about a story with tragic undertones], but at least I got something down, and the first bones of world-building]:

( 'Eloise, the Joyful Troll' as a short story, with a single conflict, and resolution )
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Oh, and there were things I wanted to rant and/or cheer about over the last five days, but I have a migraine now, and want to take a break from this screen for a bit...

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5 more things:

Thu, 18 Nov 2010 20:12:55 GMT

So help me, I'm sore tempted to rewrite my NaNo Novel from the beginning. A little over half-way through (middle-grade and youth chapter books are often about 30k words-- at least, pre-Harry Potter) And furthermore, I'm tempted to cheat, and just add the second version onto the first, instead of pasting over, so I reach the 50k mark by having 2 different beginnings, 3 middles, and seven endings.

(Caption to image link: A graphic calender representation of how much writing I've done so far on my NanoWrimo novel; six of the days are Code Green, seven are Code Yellow, and five are Code Red.)

*Sputters* It's just that, as I'm writing, my brain wants to keep changing the voice and POV on me..., and as I'm writing one scene, I suddenly realize that in order for this one to work, I need to make three consecutive scenes ten segments back completely different. *whimpers*
Tuesday's Nova was pretty neat-- all about the new studies they're doing around Stonehenge, doing experimental archeology, and bringing in experts from-non Eurocentric cultures. Back in the 1920s-30s, scientists didn't think you could learn anything from cremated remains, so when that's all they found at Stonehenge back then, they just dumped all the bones in a single burlap bag, and reburied in one of the old, original, bluestone holes. So modern-day scientists dug them up again, and sorted out the bits, and did dna analysis, and found that all the remains were from adult males, aged 25-40 years old. So their theory is, now, that it was a special ceremonial cite for royalty. So much for the idea that this was a matriarchial society, I guess. But now, I'm wondering if Stonehenge was the origin of the idea of King Arthur's "Round Table" (Originally, the lintels on top of the outer sarsen stones formed a continuous ring of tongue-and-grooved linked stones, and the whole surface was level all the way across to within a couple of inches, and the bluestones, which are the oldest in the circle, are all from Wales). The whole episode can be watched online (at least, in the U.S., and at least for a couple of weeks) here.
The week before, Nova did a show on dogs, and the new things scientists are studying about how dogs differ from wolves. The narration script took the usual tack of how we domesticated them, selectively breeding for increasing tameness over generations, and it cited the fifty-year old Russian program of selectively breeding foxes for tameness, and reduced aggression, and how, when you deliberately select for that one trait, you get a whole bunch of other "doggy" traits, such as floppy ears, white spots and markings, and curly tails.

But, as Audrey points out, wolves were hunting big game cooperatively long before humans were, so rather than wolves trailing along after humans, chewing on our discarded bones, humans were probably trailing after the wolves, much like ravens (We couldn't hunt mammoths, or elk, and the like for ourselves, until after we'd invented spears; but with a hammer stone, we could break open bones to get at the marrow inside). The wolves were not (probably) deliberately controlling which humans bred, and which didn't. But I bet there was natural selection to favor "tameness" in human pups, just like there was among the wolf pups, as the two species gathered around the kill -- kids who saw a wolf pup as a potential playmate and partner was less likely to get attacked than a kid who saw a wolf pup as a potential meal, or as a rival for food. And, I wonder if this trait of seeing a member of another species as a potential partner, and someone with whom we can have a symbiotic relationship (hello, chickens, horses, sheep, cows, etc.), is also linked with other traits we associate with humanness-- like language, and houses, and...

Really liked the Matt Smith interview with Craig Ferguson, Tuesday night (American Telly late-night chat show), but I think the Beeb could have chosen a better clip for the introduction (that scene from Vampires of Venice where the Doctor first meets the women in white, and runs away) for an audience that mostly has never heard of the character. That's a great scene for those who already know the character, because we can see his sardonic wit and glee. But taken out of context, it's hardly suggestive of "the oncoming storm." Okay. So showing the "Basically... Run" speach (showing the faces of all the other TV Doctors) would have been spoilerific. But one of the official trailers would have been nice.

He's taller than I expected, standing next to Craig Ferguson (who is often taller than even the male stars who come on his show). I squeed a bit over his polka-dotted socks.
I know I had a fifth thing, coming in. But I've forgotten it now...

Maybe something about my failing memory?:-/

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I'm not writing my NaNo Novel; I'm writing for the Art Garden (Or trying to).

Thu, 11 Nov 2010 00:44:06 GMT

The deadline to submit something is Friday. This Friday. Forty hours from now.

The Theme is "Gold."

I want to write something based on the Irish Proverb: "A word is more enduring then Worldly Wealth," which fits the audience and venue (as we are all wielders of words, there, and this is the 50th Art Garden event).

But that doesn't actually mention gold, or the imagery of gold, per se. And we don't use gold as wealth in everyday life, anymore, and, and, and... It's taking me a longer, windier road than I want to get from the theme I was given and the idea I want to talk about.

And, and, and.

And I have a migraine. And hotels.com won't tell me specifically what rooms I might book have which barrier-free access features available, and they demand payment up front with no hope for a refund, and the price as just about doubled since the last time I did this (I think because people are scared of bedbugs in Manhattan proper), and *flail*

And I don't even think gold is all that pretty (I've always prefered silver).

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"Yes, Officer. I'd like to have a restraining order put out against my Inner Critic."

Sun, 28 Mar 2010 04:44:52 GMT

"Oh, the charge? He's being abusive and insulting, and he won't let me get any work done."

I'm trying to figure out what my Opening Image^ is, and distill the entire nature of reality of the "normal world" before my story takes off, and Things Change Forever (for my protagonist), in the first 10% of my story.

In my head, the metaphor for the Cure Imperative of our culture is his doctors, therapists, and nurses refusing to even acknowledge the reality of his wings, and repeating the mantra that he'll be free when he can walk. But if I start my story in his childhood, I won't have enough room to tell the story of who he becomes as an adult.

There's got to be a way to do it, but all day, my Inner Critic has been "shouting":

*IT WON'T WORK, AND YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT WRITING, AND YOU HAVE TO START YOUR IDEA ALL OVER, FROM SCRATCH! (And you're lazy, and good-for-nothing, and will die young[ish] and alone)*

I'd like to stab the bastard through the heart with a silver quill pen. I would.

*sigh*

I guess this is what you get when you're deeply emotionally invested in your story.

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^(I'm using the "Hollywood Plot" outline guide provided by Script Frenzy, even though I've decided on the graphic novel format -- I figure the plot structure is basically the same, since they're both primarily visual media).

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And here I give you a Not!Poll:

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:46:24 GMT

As I wrote in a reply to megaptera, just now:

"The problem with plotting ahead, and deliberately trying to avoid cliches, is that it's got me thinking about consequences, and the consequences of those consequences . . . . It's [as if] an entire "Choose Your Own Adventure" novel is [exploding] simultaneously, in my head."

I don't really want to post a poll, and put this up for a vote, because this is my story, based (more than any other story I can remember writing, to date) on my personal memories and philosophy. And in my own life, I am a dictatorship in a in a nation of One Citizen... if that makes any sense. So I'm not putting my story up for a vote ... even though I'd welcome discussion of consequences and impressions, to help me sort out my own conflicting thoughts.

But:

It often helps me make decisions if I write my options out in a question-and-possible-answers format. And it might quiet my Inner Editor down a bit, if I give it something that looks like "Putting Important Things in Proper Order" -- like giving a fussy baby a teething ring. So I am going to play with HTML coding, and try to make a really fancy list.

Why would a government decide to establish a policy officially denying the existance of the Disabled?

It came into power at a time of an epidemic (or some other catastrophe), and citizens were swayed by health scares -- allowed the XXX Party into power for health security reasons (as the people of Afghanistan allowed the Taliban into power, in preference to the chaos of fighting war lords)

For propaganda: maintaining the facade of a society whose citizens enjoy perfect health allows an authoritarian-leaning government to project an aura of benevalence and reason, and thus deflect criticism from outside governments and dissidents within its own borders

Why would a government decide to change this policy, in practice, if not in rhetoric?

There is a coup, or simply a radical shift in government parties after an election, and the policy was such a well-kept secret that the incoming party members didn't realise how much resources it took to maintain it.

Citizens outside the Asylum system took the erasure of disability for granted, so when there was a new large-scale crisis, there was demand for resources to be put in that direction, and as the asylums no longer had the resources to function, it became more practical simply to close them down

Economic Downturn: depression. The government simply has no more money to pay staff, and utilities, or for the high tech medical treatments that are carried on inside the asylums (which are placed in remote areas, well-hidden from main population centers).

OMG!WAR!!

What happens if Home Nation become an occupying force in a foreign land?
1. Massive draft, including the able-bodied staff of the Asylums; without staff, they cannot function, and so are closed down
2. draining of capital and manpower from the homefront leads to popular uprising, which leads to a coup, and/or radical shift in Govt. (See II. A).
What happens if Home nation is Invaded by foreign country?
1. Home Nation fears that invading soldiers will take over asylums, and use the inmates as human shields; since the families of the inmates are continually promised that the children will one day be returned to them, allowing this to happen might cause popular uprising, so the asylums are shut down and evacuated (see II. A).
2. Home Nation loses war, and becomes a colony of foreign country (See II. A)

[ETA: And Now, comes the Hard Part!]

It ain't the work that's hard, Ma'am -- it's the decisions!

What are the advantages of the "Depression" plotline?

Less chance of OMG!Trauma! and emopr0n for Gabriel

Fewer moving parts for me

What are the advantages of the "War" plotline?

If the war is off the homefront, could be a reason for the "Depression" plotline.

If the Home Nation is invaded, it would bring the world to Gabriel, albeit in a violent way, and thus show a contrasting cultural view toward Disability.
- Because Gabriel is disabled and a child (double-whammy, as an underclass citizen), he can't travel the world by his own inititiave, and thus encounter "The Other."
- And I want to show "the Other," that contrasting, contemporaneous, views of Disability are possible. If there were a massive health catastrophe, it could very well have been global, but only Home Nation invested such a massive amount of resources to its Asylum System.

On the Other Hand, War = A bazillion moving parts.

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Notes, Notings, and Common Refrains

(Sigh) I just realized the other day that B.A.D.D. is coming up…

What can I write about celebrations and parties (Seriously -- suggestions wanted!)?

Conversation with my novel, from this morning:

Seeking "HALP!" from my f'list and dw'ircle:

I'm still a blocked writer; polls clear the mind

The first part of My "Eloise" Story...

*clings to the outside world*

5 more things:

I'm not writing my NaNo Novel; I'm writing for the Art Garden (Or trying to).

"Yes, Officer. I'd like to have a restraining order put out against my Inner Critic."

And here I give you a Not!Poll:

clings to the outside world